Thoughts 2

It's been a while since I've written.. and everything is pretty much the same. Same people in my life, same situation, same feelings, same music. Well.. a short update on the friends list due to my moving in Germany for this year but still not such a big deal. Things haven't changed much.. maybe my way of thinking is a bit different, but I don't consider that being a huge change.

Why Thoughts 2? Wednesday, June 2, 2010 was a post called "Thoughts". Yes, you've nailed it.. it's about the same person (wow, what a surprise). It's interesting how things can get better at times. Our paths crossed again, like I wanted it to back then.. and I'll be honest with you, cause heck, it's not like he'll ever know, it was one of the most beautiful moments so far in my life. I enjoyed his company and I like to think that he did too. And I also like to think that he was himself and that he had just as much fun as I did. I like the way I am around him, I can bitch around, make bad jokes and be a lady all at once hah. It's not like I miss him terribly when I don't see him.. It's when I see him that my world turns upside down. It's silly, stupid and retarded, call it whatever you want. I just ask myself why. I'd be a freak if I'd say something like "there's a certain connection there". Even though I think there is. But why now? Why after all this time? Why does he want to talk to me more often all of a sudden, why would .. I dunno, I give up. See?? this is what goes through my head whenever I like someone.. I over-analyze everything like I'm my personal shrink. I keep asking all these questions and I get all insecure. (Wow, someday when I'll read this again I'll think "what the fuck were you thinking, girl chillax".)

You know what he is? He's like a hailstorm. When it's all warm outside he comes like huge clouds and messes everything up, leaving a few marks and then disappearing just like that. Ice melts, leaving no trace of where he came from and where he's heading or anything and after that you say "wow, what was that just now?" It's how I see him. And I think that's what I like about him. Yeah.. I really think I like him.. that's not alright... Am I supposed to tell him? And if I'd do such a stupid thing..how could I possibly do it? I don't see those words coming out of my mouth while I'm around him. How would I put it without sounding like any other desperate girl? "Hey you.. I like you.. I'd really wish to wake up next to you one morning..or a couple of mornings or.. I'd like to get to know you and I'd like you to let me in and show me who you are and see if(in a far away universe in my head) we'd ever be awesome together.

Wow, that was cheesy as fuck.