Confidential

I sometimes dream of your face and sometimes open my eyes with the thought that you might be there next to me, snoring like a pig.
Sometimes I walk on the street and I think I see you, but I'd rather not turn around because I know it's not you, it's just that I'd want that cheerful feeling to stay for a while longer.

Sometimes when you write things randomly I want to believe that some things are referred to me. Even though they're not and I know that.. I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I might not be what you'd want. You might not be what I want either. But it's that dream thing in my head, it's that damn feeling I had when I was with you that I remember sometimes.......... and that feeling pisses me off.

I'm ANGRY at myself for feeling this. This intensity for nothing. Even though it may have been nothing to you, to me it was.. it was intense, powerful. As if two souls met, somehow to a certain level, difficult to comprehend, like... an addiction.

It feels so unfinished. It feels as if so much more could be discovered. And I wish to discover it, I wish to know things about you and do things with you and to you and just have you HERE, with me. I want you to be there when I need you. I want you to see who I am, know who I am, see what I can truly be. And most of all I want you to keep on liking me even after you get to see who I am. I hope you fall crazy in love with me so that I wouldn't feel the pain of rejection. Yes, I'm selfish, you bring that out. You make me want to want more.

You make me want to want you more.