I found such a lovely playlist on Spotify...There's something about Nick Cave that is hauntingly beautiful.
Today was an odd day, I had to face a few rejections that I honestly didn't expect and furthermore I had a slight feeling of regret and I came to realize something I was hoping wouldn't happen. There has been a lot going on in my head and too little going on for real, outside of this comfort place inside my head. There's this lack of motivation and lack of time and an abundance of excuses. But I have missed writing and I miss it constantly but rarely do I actually get to spend time with myself the way I want to and even less time to sort out all these thoughts and write them down which is a pity because it was always my go-to place in case of slight depression. I always got to a result after writing because I confronted both rational and irrational sides.
So... what do you do when you have nothing? It would be absurd to say I have nothing because I have been blessed with amazing people ..yet they are never around me and I always wind up alone in a corner with a cigarette in my hand and my phone in the other, always trying to communicate or trying to grasp for some attention somewhere.
It's sad.
The only comforting thing is that other people face this too but have a different way of manifesting themselves. Some work out, some do their best at their job, some have a hobby and some simply ignore it with the idea of it fading away.
Well today is going to end well though, I have Lulu Rouge's "Sign Me Out" on repeat
and I think it'll be okay.
Signing out,
Good night.
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