We believe

It hit me today... and it hit me hard. I shouldn't have listened to all those old songs and dig up the past. I know how it can hit me... ugh. I need a little escape right now, I'll run tomorrow morning as soon as I drive the little one to school.
It's been a long run and maybe it is good that someone reminded me of back then, of something I don't really talk about and if I do it is with the close ones and as little as humanly possible.
In moments like these I get a few answers, I realize why I do what I do, why I did what I did, why I acted how I did when I did. Excuses and excuses. Weakness. It's all gone now and it is a lot better.
I'll break through it one day though, I left it behind a while ago but I guess some things need to be cleared before you can truly let go. Ambiguous? Yes, I deal with that on a daily basis.

No one ever knows what we are searching for.

Will you be my Valentine?

Today was one of those beautiful days for which I am very grateful.Yes it is true that on this day you can feel obliged to do something for your loved one but when you don't have to make a gesture and you do it anyway, it's a million times better. 

I received a beautiful bouquet by the one man that fills my heart with joy and my life with colors! That polite and caring gentleman that I have always looked for, the handsome nerd which understands my gaming and I know we can always lock ourselves in the house, eat only junk and game 24/7 and that kind, loving intelligent friend that everyone needs in their life. He gets me in a lovely way and he has made me happier than anyone I've ever actually dated. Therefor I say - cheers to dreamers! Cheers to being idealistic. Two of the best things I've always been and look where they have brought me.

He's a keeper and I sure as hell want to grow old with him someday, if time and circumstances allow it. If not, at least I know that the man of my dreams was true, even if only for a little while. :)

This said I feel like saying that I won't let us go without at least a decent fight for this. Because when you find something that is worth fighting for you never give up.