Focus

For some things in life never turn out the way you want them to, there are certain things you can not change. That's when we write, when we find a moment of peace, a moment of emptiness, emptiness of thought preferably. When there is nothing on your mind but the words simply flow... flow with no certain meaning but they do flow and after you read them you realize they actually did make sense, quite interesting, sometimes it seems as if someone else has written everything for you. I love it when that happens. It's exactly like when you wake up at night during dreams and you write down what you've dreamed quickly before you fall back asleep. Then the next morning you read your dream and you don't remember anything in there.
- Do you have any idea what happens after we die? said Isabel.
- No, why do you ask? said Sally rather confused.
- Well I was heading towards this shop today to buy some flour and this woman came up to me and asked me to cross the street with her cause her leg was hurting terribly.
- Ah, and did you help her?
- Well, at first it seemed rather strange cause she had this weird beige dress and she talked funny. But we did cross the street in approximately 30 minutes.
- Wow, why?
- She started talking to me a lot! About her life, her daughter, that apparently studies in the same city as I do! And then she asked me what my star sign was. She told me I am quite the person but that my life would be really good eventually. She did mention I had to make sure to be nice to people around me.
- I think i would have freaked out if I was you, what happened next?
- Well... we stopped in the middle of the road so she could continue telling me about my birthday and how that influences ones life.
- Ah, and? What else did she mention?
- I remember her telling me I was a stubborn person and that it would help me in life. Then she gave me a blessing, which I found quite weird, and she told me where her address was. She asked me to visit her when I had the time.
- How nice of her, I bet she was alone.
- Yeah, it could be, but Sally... it felt so strange to have met her. It's been 2 years since then and I've never gotten to visit her.

Today

We arrived in Bad Kissingen a few hours ago. It's pretty cool as usual. Thing is.. as life tends to be like a circle, some things tend to never change. For instance today I was literally being all alone in my room reminiscing and thinking about all the things that I could have done and things I haven't. My idea is that I probably feel somewhat overwhelmed by the situation with my parents, no..seriously, it was too much. I tried as much as I could to help, to talk with mom and dad, to try and fix anything that was fixable but sadly nothing worked. After many years of lies, of hiding things, of pain .. there isn't much that can be fixed or wants to be fixed.

For now I shall enjoy a lovely movie with my fellow classmates here in Bad Kissingen and try to find the slightest thing that can make me smile.

Have a nice evening, dear reader.